not interrupted anymore, thank you very much

It dawned on me the other day that the name of my blog here longer serves me or my life. The perceived interruption that Doug's illness, death and my year or more of deep grief was not an interruption so much as a deep valley to cross. As valleys go it was an interesting, at times terrifying and always fruitful one. I have learned more about the inner workings of my mind and soul, the limitations and the tenacity of my body and the immensity of that essential ingredient of life, Love. I miss my sweetie, mostly I miss the unsaleable rightness of how we came together, how we danced this life together and the unshakable faith that I had about our union's ability to weather any storm, even if I was the instigator of the tempest. I long for those feelings again of being in the right place at the right time with the right person. I miss his smell, his flesh and his wonder. The utter ridiculousness that the two of us forged our union tickles me and I am grateful everyday that we both got to experience all that we did together. But I also want/need to say goodbye to this so called interruption, this valley that I have occupied for so long. I am starting to climb the mountain now, it is the only way to truly see the vista that awaits me as I depart this place that has held me. I have had dear friends and family that have listened to me whine, cry and be crazy, they have held me and caressed my wounded soul, they have admonished me when I chose to dwell in darkness, they have seemingly abandoned me, they have reflected back to me my own beauty and sanctity, they have made me laugh. I wouldn't have the strength, curiosity and willingness to make the climb without each and everyone of them. So thank you to all of you, if you want to climb with me and see what is next, follow my next blog, I think it will have something to do with life renewed, recreated and returned, it should prove to be exciting, but don't take my word for it, try it for yourself, for we each have the choice everyday to start climbing up to the next peak or to stay put in our own valleys believing that that is all there is. Hope to see you along the way and at the summit!