the days travels

I actually did get to sleep again this morning, a delicious light sleep that recharged my batteries even though there was a large dog sleeping next to me and several cats visiting my body to knead on me. I then got up talked to Doug and we set up a visit for us both to meet with the oncologist. We both like the man, probably I like him a little more than Doug as the doctor was very directive and pulls no punches, not letting Doug use his superior intellect to try to control this uncontrollable position he finds himself him. The doctor was compassionate and brutally realistic. When Doug asked if he could start with a lower dose chemo and work his way up, the physician said, Not with me as your doctor? When Doug asked if he could go home for a day and get a couple of things in order, the doc said, yes if you sign out against medical advice and in that case your insurance will probably not pay for your hospital stay. The time for Doug to try to be his own physician and to try anything and everything that he wants to is over. He will be getting a heart study tomorrow morning to make sure that his heart is up to the chemo, then a bone marrow aspiration to determine if there is any prostate cancer or lymphoma involvement. That will all happen around 10 AM tomorrow. If the heart study is satisfactory, the chemo treatment will start right after that. Doug is scared (terrified) as he knows as do I that this first treatment at the high dosage that has been determined to be used to give him his best chance could very well kill him when he receives it. So 24 hours from now could look very different. He will be in the hospital for at least two weeks to recover from the first treatment and his various other ailments. The phone really bothers him when it rings, he is extremely weak and his mind is not what it has been all his life,he is also completely wiped out from this disease process right now. So well wishers either call me and I will answer if I have the capacity. I am suffering from rebound headaches from the pain medication so am unable to think straight and am also now unable to take the pain meds anymore. I am also unable to give anymore of myself except for what I have to give to Doug. Please don't be slighted if you don't get a call back right off or if your call doesn't get answered. I/we simply are on survival mode for the next several days and don't have the energy to do anything but to keep visiting Doug and caring for him when the nurses don't have the time. I gave him a shower tonight but made him do most of the work, as he is a tiny bit stronger and needs to keep his core strength up even if he doesn't feel like it. Please pray for strength and perseverance on his part. And for courage and prayfulness for me as I walk through this fracture Also anyone wno wants to send him a message, I have been reading then to him in his hospital bed. Please pray and message me on facebook if you wish. Will let you know tomorrow how everything.
PS If non of this makes sense, I am so tired that I am falling asleep and my eyes are not focusing correctly.Will write more later. If this doesn't make sense, I will probably figure that out, for right now deal with it.