All hooked up!

Day three of the second juice feast of my life, only this time I have Isis and Oce to enjoy it with me. Isis' contribution to the cause was velvet leisure suits for all of us, turquoise for her, shocking pink for Oceana and kelly green for me. She has also been on vegetable prep and kitchen clean up patrol since arriving, not to mention vigorous vacuuming. Oceana has graced us with much needed plumbing skills, clearing both bathtub drains of the hairy results of chemo therapy and benign tub drain neglect, she has also been perusing the back yard with the eyes and heart of a landscaper, I will have a great new compost situation at the very least before the woman get through here. They have both lifted my spirits and lent me strength since they arrived. I am feeling very accomplished as a mentor and guide, being able to identify individual needs for all 3 of us (4 of us if we count Doug who is definitely under my care right now), adjusting the program as the different aspects of the healing process are incorporated and keeping the natives as happy as possible while still staying within the fairly stringent parameters of the green juice feast. So far we have made and drank green juice, received awesome massages, made and drank green juice, had nuturing hour and a half long pedicures (also cheap), made and drank green juice, had network chiropractic sessions, drank green juice that I purchased at the center, had colonics, a first for both of the the girls, drank more green juice. You get the picture. Tonight I fixed supper for Doug and checked in with how his first day of teaching in about 20 weeks went, he had a very emotional day and a fulfilling one. His legs are achey and he is coming off 2 days of fevers of 103.8. That bout of fevers broke this morning at 4:30AM with a bucket of sweat and jubilation at the return of Teddy, the kitty who was missing for 36 hours during the second of three ferocious rain storms that we are in the midst of. After a little rest, the ladies and I put the veggies that were delivered this morning in to proper storage packaging and into my fabulous new refrigerator. I then instructed both of the newbies in the intricacies of colonic implants, wheat grass juice and pro biotics all around. Neither of them was impressed but bless them, they did it anyway. I then mixed up two bags of special things like Vitamin C, selenium, magnesium, calcium, potassium and sodium bicarb for Isis and Oce. Isis got hooked up with her power PICC line and Oceana was treated to her first IV, the first one that I have started in about 7 years but it went smoothly given that I had not worked with this particular IV catheter before. In trying to make needles safer for medical personell and decrease the amount of needle sticks they have made the needles and their protective devices much more complicated. Each girlie sat in a comfy recliner with a blankie, iced water and kombucha and watched a chick flick together. They coordinated their pee breaks as we have only one IV pole to work with. All in all a very productive day with only a couple of mini meltdowns- mostly over colon issues, not surprising and on the whole very healing and revealing for all parties concerned.
In the middle of the IV marathon, my poor husband came out of the bedroom with his tee shirt in his hand. It was literally soaked, as was our bed, and his pillow. In the hour and a half that he had been sleeping he poured out what appeared to be a bucket of sweat. I had freshly made the bed this evening as he had soaked it with sweat when his fever broke last night. So the pillow went into the dryer and the hairdryer came out to dry off his side of the linens. I know that he is very scared as this particular symptom is one that is linked with lymphoma and one that he hadn't ever experienced to this extent. Five years ago when he was diagnosed with pneumonia he had high night fevers with shaking chills but not the drenchings that he is experiencing now. I had the Doctor order a chest X-ray yesterday which was clear and we got lab work on him today after school, no results yet from that. After drying up the bed, I massaged his calves and feet as they were really bothering him. His muscles are all but nonexistent in his legs, he used to have such muscular legs, one of my favorite features of his dear body. While we are both pleased that he is back in the classroom, we are both very concerned about the cancer progressing as he tries to get a break from the devastating effects of the chemo. The neuropathy of his hands and feet basically doubled after his last treatment with the new chemo agents. At that rate he would not be able to walk or use the computer with one more treatment. In light of the new symptoms we need to make some informed decisions about whether to carry on with the treatment plan that he has been following or switching to another institution with a completely different approach or resorting to conventional chemo treatment that promises to be absolutely miserable with a 55-70% cure rate. In the mean time I will get him to the new chiro that we went to today whose technique is very helpful with neuropathy. We also have to increase his fat intake and try to get some meat on his bones so that he has something to work with to build up his strength and stamina. The trouble with this process that we are going through is that his softening edges are causing me to like him more as the specter of losing him seems closer at times. I speak of liking him more, not about loving him more, as anyone who has ever ventured into the quixotic land of marriage knows, loving our partner enough is hardly ever the question, but there are many days that we get faced with the question of how much we like them and their behavior. I like Doug more and I understand and accept his behaviors more also. Sad that it has to come at such a cost to both of us. My fear is that I will be so practical, rational and mature about the life and death realities that we are dealing with while he is alive but not realize how important his presence in my life is until he is no longer in it. I was shocked and dismayed at how utterly heartwrenching putting Beanie to death was, imagine how I will be when and if this man that I chose to yoke myself to succumbs to this disease while we are still figuring us out? I know that is may sound a little screwy to compare the possibility of one's spouse's demise to the reality of a dear old pets well deserved final sleep but it is what I have to weigh my personal level of emotional carnage with. My mom died so long ago (37 years) and I was a selfish and fairly undeveloped teenager when that happened, we never got to have an adult to adult relationship. I have lost relatives,a marriage, pregnancies, patients and dear friends, but so far my merciful Creator has spared me the terrible test of losing a child or a mate, curious that I find myself trying to actively save the lives of Isis and Douglas right now.
I feel particularly blessed in that I can be of direct healing service right now to three people that I love, Doug, Isis and Oce. I am also blessed that James and Jen are here in this state and that in spite of their struggles and trials that I can be of service to both of them and to James Joseph too. I am a lucky woman, who is giving herself the gift of juice fasting for 2 weeks while receiving deep healing body work all while sporting gorgeous fuchsia toenails and wearing kelly green velvet lounge wear. How can you top that?