The rat in the wheel

Do you have a rat in a wheel in your head? I do. It got me up this morning, I thought it was just a cute little sleepy hamster leisurely taking a quick stroll to get the kinks out. But no it was a big hairy rat who decided that it was time to make the thing spin like crazy. It started with me turning over in my sleep and smacking my husband right on top of his fuzzy skull. It is so infrequently that he is actually in our bed that I am not used to having him in striking range. Jasper of course was cuddled in tightly to his arms so that he was over on my side of the bed and Wham! my knuckles knocked him on the noggin. So that woke me up, not him just me. I got up to pee, had a sip of water and settled back in under the covers and that is when the hamster showed up. I thought about what I would do with my day after a couple hours more sleep. Maybe I would make a bunch of food for the week. Visions of different dishes floated through my mind as the little guy strolled along in fits and starts. Oh yes, we were planning on going to the book store and then to a movie, but wait there wouldn't be enough time to really get into food prep if we did that. Maybe I should just turn over and snuggle down deeper int the bed and drift off. Shifting in the bed I am careful not to bonk Doug again, which makes me even more awake. I want to pay the bills online today to make sure that our finances are going to stretch enough to cover last weeks treatments and the mortgage. Hmmm, the cute little rodent has grown and is starting to trot. Speaking of finances, I nearly forgot that I have to call the nurse from the center today to brainstorm about getting all the supplies that I need to continue Doug's treatments at home and to start Isis' treatments in a month from today. Mister rat has made the complete metamorphosis and is really gearing up for a run. What if I don't get it all arranged in time? What if it is too expensive for the initial outlay for the supplies? Oh god, I have to get it together before the year is out, our insurance will cover it better if it is ordered in the next couple of weeks. What if I can't figure it out? What if I have gained 5 pounds over night from eating that organic turkey burger last night, the first meat in 3 and a half months? What if Doug gets sicker and dies, what if I have a heart attack and am not able to take care of him or Isis or anyone. What if I wake up and am as fat as I was a year ago? I am sure that we won't have enough money to pay all the bills on time, this is going to suck. Do I smell wheel bearings smoking???
Anyway, you get the picture. So at the unlikely hour of 4:49 I have risen, let the dog out, and had him look at me like I was crazy for standing in the living room and not heading right back to bed like he was planning on doing. I got the paper in and couldn't bring myself to commit to reading it yet, that would put the last nail in the coffin of my nights sleep. I am hungry, but if I eat, I will surely be up for the day. So I took the chance and picked up my laptop to write out the saga of my ratty friend who hasn't been this persistent in a while. Hoping beyond hope that I will actually be able to finish this blog and march back into the bed room and lay back down to sleep.
I imagine that this is just another indicator that I do in fact write more when in distress, Eh?