Talking helps

It has been a roller coaster ride of a journey for the past couple of days. Funny thing, how one person can think one thing and the other can think the same thing but if neither of them share the thoughts- they are left to their own ruminations locked in their own personal hell where no light enters to illuminate the heart. We had a big talk two days ago, I won't give you the gory details, we will just say that it was long overdue and seriously needed. The house and it's occupants are lighter and more free to just be. It was timely in that we today received the news that Doug's progress is not what we hoped for. We are left with many questions and searching for direction. Many of his tumors have decreased in activity, though a couple of them increased in size and a couple of them become more active. He has a new tumor in his lung and in his neck, small but present. His spleen lesion has increased in size and has a necrotic(dead)center to the lesion. A couple of his nodes are very aggressive. He is sick and tired of being sick and tired. His hands and feet are very numb and his voice is weak. We are left with few clues on how to proceed and conflicting information from different resources. Yet curiously, we are OK, grieving but OK. We are in this boat together and that means a lot to both of us.This journey continues to call on us to stretch ourselves emotionally, spiritually and even physically. We will continue for right now with the diet, actually will clean it up even more, with both of us doing a juice cleanse in the next week. He will also continue with the numerous supplements and adjunct treatments that help his immune system do it's job. Doug will start work as we need the income and he feels happiest when he is able to ply his craft, which is teaching. God knows that he learned a lot in the past year to digest and integrate into the wisdom that he passes to his students. As much as he has cherished the freedom to take the semester off to do this bit of healing, he has missed the class room and his students. It is a place where he knows who he is. How long he will be able to do that remains to be seen. We are hoping to come up with a plan where he can continue to teach and continue whatever treatment he will endure in the future. Thoughts, comments, and prayers are welcome. Happy New Year, the possibilities are endless.